>I walk a fine line. A line between moving forward in the wonders and majesty of what God is doing in my life today and how He is blessing me right now and how I know He is blessing my future versus not being able to forget the past hurt because it comes up almost daily in some shape or form.
As we prepare to go to court again on November 18th there is that part of me that dreads to see the face of the man who for all intents and purposes, was my family. The man who stole my identity and and destroyed my email accounts without a single thought to what that did to our family. The man who did everything he could for three years to isolate my family and turn friends against us. Then there is the part of me that likes to face it head on, knowing no matter what the outcome that God is still on the throne and that all will be revealed and dealt with in His time frame, not mine. The part of me that can walk in that courtroom knowing whatever happens, God knows the hurt and God knows the situation from the inside out.
Walking in forgiveness for myself is easy most days. Walking in forgiveness has freed me from the chains of hatred and bitterness that tried to form around my heart. The hard part of forgiveness is not even toward Shane but toward the situation and the fact that there are people who actually believe this guy, in his unrepentant state, can still be a leader for the Kingdom of God.
I know this is going to be controversial to some but the Bible says in Luke 17: 3-4 “If thy brother trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in the day turns again to thee saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.” Those are the words of Jesus, the words of our Savior. How could the brother forgive if he had not been repented to and asked for forgiveness?
When the prodigal son returned to his father he said Luke 15:21″Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy site, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.” This father was not left to wonder what was in his son’s heart. There was repentance there. Romans 3:23 says “All of us sin and fall short of the glory of God.” The fact that sins were committed is not the issue, the issue is that there are one of two scenarios in place here:
1. The person in question is under a spirit of confusion and does not realize that they were wrong.
2. They refuse to acknowledge the sins they committed and feel justified in their actions.
My deepest prayer is that people turn to God and not to a man in this day we live in. Belief in a man, a building, an earthly kingdom full of flattering words and empty promises will not get you one step closer to where God intends for you to be. Please pray that you are not deceived and that God reveals the truth for all to see before you are like Proverbs 26:11 ” As a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.” Or as us regular folks would put it, Fool me once, Shame on You; Fool me twice, Shame on me.
I know this is not a pretty blog, but today it’s who I am, it’s how I feel and somewhere, someone is reading this feeling the same way and sometimes its just good for someone to identify with you for a minute. To know they too have walked your path. I am encouraged to know that others walk this line too as they walk through grief or divorce or loss of job because it means we are all human. To love a God who didn’t heal the sick as we expected or to love a God who did not prevent a divorce or to love a God who did not prevent job loss astounds some people. But see when Job’s wife told him he should Curse God and die he replied in verse 10: But Job replied, “You talk a foolish woman. Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?” So in all this, Job said nothing wrong. God is a God of love but sometimes he puts things in our paths, hurdles to cross so it will glorify Him in the end and help us grow as individuals.
Dear God, Help me to put the past to rest and walk each day in forgiveness and continue to bless those around me with discernment for the situations they are facing today to your promise will hold true because your word says in Matthew 6:33 “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”